By Owen Novy | City of Taylor, Doolittle County

A nuclear meltdown has occurred in Doolittle County after a farmer’s riot severely damaged the local reactor.

The riot began after the City of Luddington did not allot a sufficient amount of funds to satisfy the farmers’ union who demanded $400,000 in reimbursements.

The riot seriously damaged the nuclear reactor “ray-diation” shielding. The nuclear reactor was built to power the Luddington’s Foosball table.

This was met with ridicule by Luddington’s neighboring cities, Taylor and Smith. However, the nuclear reactor controversy reached new heights Thursday.

After the meltdown occurred Thursday, several areas became irradiated.

This included several stairways and pieces of furniture. Taylor was outraged that they could no longer use their stairwell and that they had no choice but to use Smith’s stairway.

The outrage partially stemmed from the Smith ordinance that could fine Taylor residents up to $1,000,000 for being on their premises.

A county meeting was called to order, so a solution could be found. After some discussion and screaming, Doolittle county did not come to a conclusive solution.

Halfway through the meeting, Doolittle county received an offer to clean up the nuclear radiation for $350,000. The offer was considered, and the meeting was adjourned prior to a final decision.

Doolittle County will decide later what to do with the county as a whole. Taylor, in the meantime, is deciding whether to fund a personal cleanup project.

The cities of Doolittle county may never be the same.